When we start to connect to the ten stages at a deeper level, we cause violent reactions from our close family and friends

When we start to connect to the ten stages at a deeper level, we cause violent reactions from our close family and friends,It is entirely possible over time to get so beaten down by them and so sure we might be at fault just by studying the child within, that we fail to identify the dynamic of dissociation? YES. The Gaslight Effect happens over time, gradually, and often, by the time we become deep enmeshed into the Gaslight Tango (the dance you do with your gaslighting family or fellowship, where you allow them to define our reality) we are not the same independent self we used to be. In fact, our ego functioning has been compromised and, no longer being certain of our reality, we are not often able to accurately identify when something is "off" with our family of origin.

The process of gaslighting happens in stages, although the stages are not always linear and do overlap at times, they reflect very different emotional and psychological states of disfunction.

The first stage is disbelief: when the first sign of gaslighting occurs. You think of the gaslighting interaction as a strange behavior or an anomalous moment. During this first stage, things happen between us and our partner, or our boss, friend, family member, that seem odd to us.



The next stage is defense: where we are defending ourself against the gaslighter's manipulation. Think about it—we tell our family member, for example, we are unhappy with the inter-action we have been getting; we feel we are being isolated. We ask them why this is happening. Instead of addressing the issue, we are told that we are way too sensitive and way too stressed by the studies we have entered into..... well, maybe we are sensitive and stressed, but, that doesn't answer the question of why we are being isolated for close family interactions. But, rather than leave it at that, or redirect the conversation, we start defending ourself, telling our family we are not that sensitive or stressed, or, that the stress doesn't interfere with our ability to communicate. But, during this stage, we are driven crazy by the conversations.... going over and over, like an endless tape, in our mind.

What's worse, is that these kind of conversations characterise our relationship more and more. We can't stand that our family sees the situation like that and we work even harder on the trying to react to the family dysfunction we find the conversations boring, even demeaning, just to prove that we are not overly sensitive and stressed out.


The next stage is depression: By the time we get to this stage we are experiencing a noticeable lack of joy and, we hardly recognise ourself anymore. Some of our behaviour feels truly alien. We feel more cut off from friends—in fact, you don't talk to others about our relationships very much. we may express concern about how we are and you are feeling—they treat us like you really do have a problem.