Forgiveness is not a tool in the ten stage process, but a consequence of it.

Forgiveness is not a tool in the ten stage process, but a consequence of it. If we attempt to forgive before we have exhumed and felt and grieved and healed the damages done to us we only engage in the delusion of a temporary, premature forgiveness that can so easily be undone when unresolved dissociations erupt once again, which they invariably do. When we grieve we reconnect with the best of ourselves and with our pure child within—and spontaneously understand and  forgive. And then our forgiveness is true, deep, pure, and permanent.