Nobody wants an eternal joker around, who does nothing but making others laugh

When and as I communicate with people I simply communicate, I breathe, I focus on the subject, I listen attentively, and I say if there is something relevant to discus, instead of making stupid jokes to make everyone laugh etc., all that is drama, attention seeking drama.

Sucks big time, but no self-judgment, it is what it is; now I see these patterns are in me, so I direct myself to STOP. Nobody wants an eternal joker around, who does nothing but making others laugh, that’s obviously attention seeking. It’s another blog to deal with sense of humor, I mean at which point does sense of humor becoming attention seeking?

Anyways, the key realization here is, stay within myself, live as if there is NOBODY around, I mean when I am all alone I don’t do any strange dramas to get attention, do I? When I am alone I just live, I just breathe. But when I am with people, or when I communicate with people, then the attention seeking personality goes on top gear, of course with my permission/direction.

So how to stop this disease. It’s kind of depressing what I am doing to myself, basically I am telling everyone that “hey guys, I don’t’ give a damn about myself, so please give me a damn by giving me some attention”. Shame, sooner or later, they too will get tired of giving me attention, or will