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Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: The difference between groups and communities in recovery is fundamental.
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Spiritually Evolving Steps The difference between groups and communities in recovery is fundamental. Groups can and do foster a form of d...
Spiritually Evolving Steps
The difference between groups and communities in recovery is fundamental. Groups can and do foster a form of dependency whilst community fosters interdependence. This interdependence leads to greater autonomy and mental health one of the definitions of interdependence is: “a reciprocal relation between interdependent entities." The key word here is: "reciprocal." Interdependence can be thought of as a relationship where each party gives and receives from his or her own internal overflow.

This is TOTALLY different than "codependence" which can be thought of as being "addicted to someone." Another way to look at it, spiritually, is this: A codependent person makes someone else his or her Higher Power. An interdependent person knows that a power greater than themselves has become their Higher Power and keeps their focus on that, while choosing to be in a relationship with someone else who is also looking to a higher power to fulfil them.

One of the the first thing on joining into our community recovery, “We have to keep our eyes on our personal higher power to fulfil us spiritually. You and I, we are imperfect and flawed human beings who are going to mess up. We can't look to each other to fulfil us in recovery; I want to be in a relationship in my recovery where we keep our eyes on our higher power, which allows us to love ourselves and each other as imperfect beings.” You see, when we make someone else our Higher Power, we are REALLY setting ourselves up for pain. This is a top cause of pain in recovery, sponsors and sponsorship and the inappropriate use of control within the groups cause breakups. We are looking to someone else for something they can never give us, which is perfect and unwavering Love. There is only one place this type of unconditional Love comes from and that is from your higher power.

The Love of your higher power never changes; other people change all the time. When we keep our eyes on our higher power and surrender to Its will for us, we take everyone else off the hook for our happiness. We no longer seek to take Love from the group members, but to show come from a place of overflow the community and give Love to all. This kind of relationship with a higher power creates really great givers and FORgivers. This is the cornerstone of having an awesome and long-lasting relationship in recovery.

Are you making a group your Higher Power? Are you ready to take your eyes off of them and put your eyes instead toward a higher power and accept Its perfect Love for you? Can you see yourself and those you are in relationship in recovery with as imperfect human beings who are fallible and Love them anyway, not because they are fulfilling your every need, but because it is Love that is who you really are? Do you think you might have just changed your addiction you might now have become addicted to someone or something?
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