Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: In our culture, somehow we’ve gotten being spirituality and being a pushover confused as the same thing.
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Spiritually Evolving Steps In our culture, somehow we’ve gotten being spirituality and being a pushover confused as the same thing. Likew...
Spiritually Evolving Steps
In our culture, somehow we’ve gotten being spirituality and being a pushover confused as the same thing. Likewise we think if we are vulnerable, we are weak. If we could get these ideas out of our head and act accordingly, lots of good stuff would happen. Being in our recovery can mean setting boundaries, saying no, being firm and also not making everyone happy. Being vulnerable can yield massive results if we could but try.

Somehow we think at the start of our recovery that being in recovery is the same thing as codependent – always agreeing with what other people want over your needs to the point of hurting yourself and abandoning yourself. This is not the case. You can stand firm in your recovery. Your understanding of your higher power. Your regard of self. Your regard for an idea in your recovery. Your empathy for others. Many times in my recovery I have to make hard choices and stand firm.

When I do this, sometimes I get accused of not “walking my talk.” And while we always do our best to lead with an open heart, disagreements happen, boundaries must be set and everyone can’t be happy all the time. I don’t believe that everyone should like you. If you are going to shine, if you are going to give of your recovery and be true to yourself, you are going to piss some people off – it’s just how it goes. It might not be intentionally, it might not be to hurt them – but frictions in human relationships happen and to expect there to be no friction is not realistic.

The question is, can we lead with kindness during friction while not backing down? Can we open our recovery and still allow room for a fierce sense of self-love and protection so that thin boundaries don’t turn into being drowned by abandoning our own needs? Kindness is a virtue that is evidence of recovery – and so is courage. When we practice our recovery, we must offer kindness in spite of the fear of what others will do.

We cannot control other people's opinions of us, or their actions. All we can control is our own choices and the meanings we make about life. As long as our choices and our actions are in alignment with our truth and our program – we must let the pieces fall as they may. Don’t be so concerned with your reputation or letting others down. Be more concerned with letting yourself down and ultimately not honouring the gift of intuition that is the whole of the higher power guiding our next step.
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