You're not God. The observation of a young woman was to have a profound change of mind in dealing with my twelve step program. The question implied that that is what I might think or give the impression of myself to another . After thirty years of attempting to make sense of the 12 steps, I realised that that one question held the answer, For it had been my power crazed selfish self sometimes referred to the ego that had caused me to attempt to find an answer for the unanswerable. A continual rebuilding of the self which came under many guises Why was I in the predicament I was in now.What had caused such failure on such a large scale an attempt to play God a frustrated will power drive. I would right the wrongs of the past a dangerous route cause by ego inflation at depth.
This one short statement of fact, gave me an insight I had not had before and I started to realise that the steps main function was to destroy this powerful myth of the self playing god and in so doing alter the ego. Sounds simple but in reality its complex.The ego constantly rebuilds itself, so it constantly has to be addressed.Hence the continuous repetition of the 12 Steps.
The twelve steps attempt to remove a sick dependency we have on ourselves, and attempts to produce a reality built on an external view of the self or a healthy self. This healthy self is not internally referenced and has to become externally referenced. The steps are not to find god but to set up external healthy robust self referencing system. They are constructive solution based answers for the sick internal ego that is based on destruction. This conflicted self constantly attempts to reference itself by externalising its problems , a new car,romance,job or social position. The Steps are used to counter this. So the Steps in reality are against a self acculised version or construct of God. A destruction of the popular God concept. A new concept has to gained a higher power nothing complex just something other than self. The self when confronted relies on.
Self destruction which is usually defined as:The voluntary destruction of something by itself.
A powerful mechanism which the self constructed god of the ego uses ruthlessly. we are really talking about self-destructive behaviour patterns which can cause oneself irreparable harm or damage, either deliberately or inadvertently sometimes resulting in death. self-destruction represents a dysfunction in a person’s relationship with self.
With addiction, the person feels that there is something missing from the self that must be constantly obtained from outside. With self-destruction, however, the person feels that there is something fundamentally bad within the self and that this part of the self needs to be kept under strict control.It is a part of the self that may have suffered unbearable damage, perhaps way back in childhood. To remember this part of the self is just too painful.
Moreover, this part of the self may well have “attracted” or “deserved” such treatment—for why else would it have happened? To allow this part of the self to the surface once more could simply cause the same traumatic experiences to happen again.
For example, if my physical body is what attracts harm, then maybe I should make it disappear by not eating. Another good name for self-destruction could be self-denial. There is a splitting of the personality in which any expression or exposure of this “thing in me” is to be suppressed by any means possible. The person feels that this part must be kept under strict control, hidden from everyday life at all costs.
The second fact was that of chemical change Neuroscience is showing that the pathways of addiction are based in the brain. Using advanced techniques such as imaging methods and studies with animal models, researchers are learning more about how alcohol interacts with the brain’s communication system in different people. Innovative technology also is helping identify the changes that occur in the brain’s structure and function as a result of drinking, and how alcohol disrupts the brain’s delicate chemical balance.In 2009 George Fein discovered that there was one part of the brain in the parietal lobe--which is associated with spatial processing--where alcohol kills gray cells. Fein claims that this explains why even after alcohol dependent subjects regain use of all their other cognitive functions they still seem to have difficulties with spatial processing. Heavy drinkers who consume around a quart of booze or so every day suffer from cognitive defects and brain shrinkage. When these heavy drinkers quit drinking or reduce their consumption of alcohol to reasonable levels most of these cognitive dysfunction and much of this brain shrinkage goes away by the end of the first year. Virtually all of the cognitive dysfunction and brain shrinkage is gone at the at the end of five or so years except for some loss of white matter, a small loss of gray matter which controls spatial processing, and some minor dysfunction of spatial processing in some individuals.Since we know that drunkards like Hemingway, O'Neill, Faulkner and Steinbeck managed to win the Nobel Prize in Literature in spite of their drinking habits this puts a lie to the myth that every drinker turns into a brain damaged idiot. The time to put an end to the lies is now. Drinking a fifth of liquor a day is clearly not good for your health, but if you watch your nutrition and keep a handle on things then occasionally engaging in recreational intoxication is not nearly so bad as the fear-mongers would lead us to believe.Abnormal serotonin levels are associated with high levels of tolerance for alcohol.Dopamine is another neurotransmitter associated with alcoholism and other addictions. Research indicates that high levels of the D2 dopamine receptor may help inhibit behavioural responses to alcohol, and protect against alcoholism, in people with a family history of alcohol dependence.
Even if genetic factors can be identified, however, they are unlikely to explain all cases of alcoholism. It is important to understand that whether they inherit the disorder or not, people with alcoholism are still legally responsible for their actions. Inheriting genetic traits does not doom a child to an alcoholic future. Environment, personality, and emotional factors also play a strong role. Over time, heavy alcohol use appears to deplete the stores of dopamine and serotonin. Persistent drinking, therefore, eventually fails to restore mood, but by then the drinker has been conditioned to believe that alcohol will improve spirits (even though it does not).Codependency. Many aspects of the ex-drinker's relationships change when drinking stops, making it difficult to remain abstinent: One of the most difficult problems that occur is being around other people who are able to drink socially without danger of addiction. A sense of isolation, a loss of enjoyment, and the ex-drinker's belief that pity, not respect, is guiding a friend's attitude can lead to loneliness, low self-esteem, and a strong desire to drink again.
Friends may not easily accept the sober, perhaps more subdued, ex-drinker. Close friends and even intimate partners may have difficulty in changing their responses to this newly sober person and, even worse, may encourage a return to drinking.
To preserve marriages, spouses of alcoholics often build their own self-images on surviving or handling their mates' difficult behaviour and then discover that they find it difficult to adjust to new roles and behaviours. In order to maintain abstinence, the ex-drinker may need to separate from these "enablers." Close friends and family members can find help in understanding and dealing with these issues through groups such as Al-Anon.
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