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Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: The root cause of the low self esteem isn't so much what was said or done to us but how we interpreted it.
Author: Fraser Trevor
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 When we give a negative interpretation to something someone innocently did or said to us, it can result in developing low self esteem and ...
 When we give a negative interpretation to something someone innocently did or said to us, it can result in developing low self esteem and it makes you devalue yourself.
For example, your manager at work tells you that you performance isn't as good as it could be, but you interpret it as "he thinks I'm incapable" or "he thinks I'm not good enough" or "he thinks I'm rubbish at my job" but all your manager is saying is that you could do better.
When you attach a negative meaning or interpretation to something that has been innocently done or said to you, (like in the example above) it can destroy your confidence. You start to feel incapable and your performance drops even more until it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and you are made redundant from work.
It is important to rightly interpret the things that are said and done to us and not assume the negative interpretations we associate with them.
When we feel we don't match up to the ideals created by the media and society
The final category of the causes of low self esteem is when we feel that we don't match up to the ideals created by the media. I once went to a Tony Robbins seminar, and he said something along the lines of "people feel unhappy with their life when their reality doesn't match their ideal" and usually it's the media that creates their ideals.
For example the media ideal when it comes to physical appearance for women is a skinny size 0 model and for men, a guy with big pecks and ripped abs and when your physical appearance and body image doesn't match up to that, it can lead to low self esteem. This is why some are struggling with eating disorders and other health and psychological issues because they have become victims of the media ideal.
Another ideal the media has created is in terms of what it means to be successful, the media paints a picture that successful people have a certain kind of job or business, they earn a certain amount of income and drive a certain type of car and live in a certain type of house etc.
Again if your reality doesn't match this media ideal that you've adopted, then you will have a poor self esteem because you have hung your ability to feel good about yourself on the obtaining of those ideals.
If you want to change the way you feel about yourself then the best thing you can do in this kind of situation is to do a soul search and find out what is really important to you, and what is really important in life - you will discover that the answers you come up with will be different from the shallow ideals that are often portrayed through the media.
Once you free yourself from the pressure of trying to live up to media ideals you will find that you begin to see yourself in a more positive light.
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