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Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: The cause of love addiction is not known, An individual can become obsessed with another person to the point that other areas of his/her life are neglected.
Author: Fraser Trevor
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 The person focuses all of his/her attention and energy on the "love object," to the exclusion of friends, family, and other li...
 The person focuses all of his/her attention and energy on the "love object," to the exclusion of friends, family, and other life commitments. Even when the person knows intellectually that the obsession is causing harm, even thinking about breaking up the relationship will bring on an anxiety attack. When the relationship is finally terminated, by either party, withdrawal symptoms of sleep and eating disorders, shaking, confusion, weeping, and feelings of failure, depression, and hopelessness occur.
There are two basic form of love addiction. In the first type, the relationship is often one sided, with the object of the person's love not even interested in, or aware of, the obsessed person's infatuation. The love is based upon imagination and not upon a relationship. An example of this would be someone "madly in love with the guy with the dark hair who sits in the front row of English class," to whom the person "in love" rarely speaks. Individuals with one-sided addictions sometime have "attachment hunger," according to Halpern. They feel inner emptiness, incompleteness, insecurity, and anxiety if they do not have a relationship. Some of these individuals enjoy the "chase." However, if the loved one finally becomes interested in them, they quickly lose interest. This type of person is addicted to the challenge of making an unloving person love them. These individuals will often go from one relationship to another and often never find anyone who is "just right" for them.
Sometimes two people are addicted to each other. These individuals seldom interact with others and tend to be possessive of each other and jealous of their lover's interactions with other people. They are motivated by their own need for security and not by an appreciation of each other's personal qualities. Addicted lovers will see each other more and more in order to maintain a secure state, often completely rejecting other people. When they are apart, they "long" for each other. Neither feels that he or she is a whole person without the other. Even if their constant contact degenerates into conflict, fights, and problems, they feel that they cannot separate.
According to Halpern, some characteristics of love addiction occur with all relationships. However, if the relationship begins to be destructive, with constant mental or physical abuse by one or both partners, and neither person can break it off, then it is addictive. In our society it is often common for friends and relatives to urge a couple to "keep trying to make it work." However, when nothing has changed over a period of time, or the people involved do not express a desire to change and/or get psychological help, it is time to give up the relationship before severe psychological or physical damage occurs.
The cause of love addiction is not known, but, as in the other addictive behaviors, the person usually has low self image, feels insecure, is frequently depressed, and undergoes "withdrawal symptoms" when deprived of the object of his/her obsession.
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