Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: Amending harms you have done to yourself?
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Amending harms you have done to yourself? We did not put yourself at the top of the list, even though we hear all the time at A.A. meet...
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Amending harms you have done to yourself? We did not put yourself at the top of the list, even though we hear all the time at A.A. meetings that you should be at the top of your amends list. The correct side of such a belief is the absolute truth that we have been very cruel to ourselves. We certainly didn't deserve all the self-punishment we inflicted. And, assuredly, the sober you does not deserve to continue being punished. Clearly, a major benefit of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is the fact that our lives–once we change our drinking matter, attitudes and ways–do get better, the world is no longer battering down our doors, and we are free of guilt. So, the amend we make to ourselves is that we are in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous enjoying the rewards of a brand new way of living.

The alcoholic mind, however, is expert at twisting A.A.s program of recovery into an opportunity for being self-serving. Suppose that you had smashed up your favorite car in a blackout while drinking. You were a person. Losing your car was a harm. You did it. Therefore, you owe yourself a new car! And–if you listen to the bleeding-hearts–getting a new car for yourself is right at the top of your amends list, too! Right? We don't need any more clever gimmicks to get things our own way.

We dare not take the path of rewriting the BB and the 12&12 to mention door-mats or to include ourselves in Step 8. Our founders designed this step to correct our actions uponothers, not ourselves.

Writing: List the person harmed, the harm done, the nature of the amend to be made (including the dollar amount, if any) and the amendment priority or projected date. Leave two columns for the date completed and comments about their reaction to our amendment.
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