www.dreamwarriorrecovery.com

www.dreamwarriorrecovery.com Large Scale Recovery website with all the latest news, views and opinions over 5000 separate historical articles. Meditation,Spirituality. The fellowships has helped millions to stop drinking, drugging which is a vital step for everyone on the spiritual path, but its inherent limits as a program prevent its members from becoming fully recovered.

 

Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: Why do we fear vulnerability? We are afraid that if someone finds out who we really are, they will reject us.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:
We are afraid that if someone finds out who we really are, they will reject us. While we may try to appear perfect, strong or intelligent...
The Lady of Shalott


We are afraid that if someone finds out who we really are, they will reject us. While we may try to appear perfect, strong or intelligent in order to connect with others in actual fact pretense often has the opposite effect intended. Research by Paula Niedenthal shows that we resonate too deeply with one another not to perceive inauthenticity. We even register inauthenticity in our bodies. A study byJames Gross shows that when we are inauthentic and try to hide our feelings, others respond physiologically (a rise in blood pressure). This physiological response may explain our discomfort around inauthentic or “fake” people.

On the other hand, when people stick to the truth (including avoiding little white lies), not only does their well-being increase but their relationships improve, recent research suggests. Another recent study indicates that verbally expressing our feelings exactly as they are may help us overcome emotions faster. When we allow ourselves to be completely open and vulnerable, we benefit, our relationships improve, and we may even become more attractive. "We are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth,” says Brown. "We love authenticity and we know that life is messy and imperfect.” Why do we love children so much? Why are we drawn to people who act themselves? Because we feel an intrinsic comfort in the presence of authenticity. Moreover, someone who is real and and vulnerable gives us the space and permission to be the same.

Yes, vulnerability can lead to hurt. Brown explains that women often tell men that they want their partner to be vulnerable and to share their feelings but then recoil in disgust when men do. When women share their feelings, men often feel frustrated or powerless and want to find a fixed and pragmatic solution. Yet is it worth walking through fear and vulnerability to experience social connection? Absolutely. “Show me a man who can listen to a woman and not try to fix her problem but rather just listen to her and be there for her, show me a woman who can sit with a man who shares this vulnerability and still love him the way he is, and I'll show you a man and woman who are courageous and have done their work," says Brown. "It's about intention – ‘Can this be the safest place that we have: with each other, you can be afraid with me and I can be afraid with you.’ ”

To know that you are seen and loved for who you are and to perceive someone else in all of their vulnerability and love them as they are may just be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. Next time you feel yourself close up in fear in a romantic relationship or otherwise, notice if you can make the choice to be courageous. Take a risk and embrace vulnerability. To quote the poet Alfred Lord Tennyson: 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' (In Memoriam:27, 1850)
Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Reactions:

Dream Warrior Solutions

Post a comment

 
Top