We want to end the feelings of isolation caused by our learned restraints against true intimacy. Aroused by the experience of love, one often is willing to suspend those restraints in order to merge with another. If the merger is dependent and immature, the result is love addiction. Life energy is directed on the pursuit of gratification rather than growth. If mature, the love will grow and expand. As Erich Fromm said, “This desire for interpersonal fusion is the most powerful striving in man. It is the most fundamental passion, it is the force which keeps the human race together . . .. Erotic love . . . is the craving for complete fusion. It is by its very nature exclusive and not universal.” Without agape, universal love of others, it remains narcissistic.
the only way you can break the obsession and the addiction is to remove yourself from the source of the obsession. Every time you make contact with this person you go back to square one, and are back in the obsession / addiction. At first it is extremely hard to go no contact - and we will look for every reason to make contact - but in time the obsession lessons Related articles
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