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Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: RELATIONSHIP Dependent Narcissists are Addicted to the High They Get from Harming Others
Author: Fraser Trevor
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In our traditional concept, the evil one is evil because he loves evil and wants to be evil. He does evil for its own sake, just to do evi...

In our traditional concept, the evil one is evil because he loves evil and wants to be evil. He does evil for its own sake, just to do evil.

Relationship Narcissists aren’t like that. They do evil for the same reason an alcoholic takes a drink — because it makes them feel good. It keeps a pain repressed.

Indeed, does an alcoholic like whiskey? No! He has a love-hate relationship with it. He knows it’s killing him. But it has a hold on him. He’s addicted to the high.

Relationship Narcissists are addicted to the high they get from harming others.

Yes, they DO act out of malice, because they will do it in order to hurt you. That’s no accident: they hurt you on purpose and as much as they can. But only because hurting you makes them feel good.

Like any addict, their addiction is no excuse. It gives them no right to abuse. It doesn’t relieve them of their responsibility for whatever they do to get that next high. So, for example, if they rob someone for the money for whiskey, they can’t use their addicton as an excuse. The addiction is just a temptation, not an excuse.

Narcissists know that if you kill, you are a killer; if you lie, you are a liar; if you abuse, you are an abuser; and so forth. So, they invent an elaborate fantasy to remain in denial of what they are – what they have made themselves.

They can’t bear knowing they are evil, just as you or I couldn’t bear that. So they make sure they UNKNOW it, no matter what. Hence the twisted thinking and elaborate facade.

Facing the fact that they act out of malice is pointless if all it does is puff up self-righteousness. The important thing is that facing this fact breaks the narcissist’s spell over you. Now you are no longer naive.

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