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Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: Addiction is an intimacy disorder.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:
 Addicts are not able to be emotionally vulnerable with other people. They would never tell anyone how they’re honestly feeling, for th...
Mother and Child watching each other
 Addicts are not able to be emotionally vulnerable with other people. They would never tell anyone how they’re honestly feeling, for they are probably not aware of how they feel themselves. Generally, their feelings are painful and to be avoided at all costs.
addicts are avoidant in their primary relationships. Avoidance is a pattern of creating distance in the relationship by pursuing intensity in some form outside of the relationship (i.e., workaholism, affairs, addictions, or high risk/high adrenaline activities). Avoidance is driven by a fear of intimacy that is originally created by being unfairly enmeshed as a child by a primary caregiver. To be enmeshed means to have to care for your parent, either physically or emotionally, rather than your parent caring for you. This can create feelings of being used, overwhelmed, smothered, or drained. 

As an adult, closeness or intimacy can recreate the feelings of being used or enmeshed as a child and cause the Avoidant to feel overwhelmed or dead in their primary relationship. One ‘solution’ to this problem is to use sex outside of the relationship to create room or distance from one’s partner and to produce a feeling of being ‘alive’ through creating an intense sexual high and lots of emotional drama.
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