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Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: The beauty of Tradition One is in it’s simplicity.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:
  If I am to operate in any kind of group setting, be it a family, an Alanon group, or a company, then I have to put the common welfare of t...
  If I am to operate in any kind of group setting, be it a family, an Alanon group, or a company, then I have to put the common welfare of that group above my own.  Not at my expense, but as my focus.  To do so means I recognize I am a part of something bigger than myself, and in that kind of setting, I am much more prone to act with humility and grace.  
This is not to say that it's easy to get an entire group to agree on what will produce the greatest common good.  If I suggest a family trip to Italy that Mom and Dad pay for, well then, everyone seems to be on board!  But the day to day things, like what we should have for dinner, are hell.  Bottom line is that everyone has to be willing to put their opinions or their needs out there and then let go of the results.  We have to be willing to accept what the decision of the group turns out to be.  The more willing we all are, the smoother things go.  If someone has a bad day and pops up with a stubborn attitude, then that attitude breeds another, and another until we're all in our separate corners of the ring defending our personal agendas and suddenly everyone's a loser.
It all comes down to letting go of the things I can't control, namely other people and their desires.  I can love them, work with them, or recover with them, but I cannot control them.  I can simply decide that I want to participate in that family, workplace or Al-Anon Group and know that by doing so, I have to practice letting go.  Maybe that's it.  To be with others, I have to be willing to let go of my own personal agenda, and theirs as well.   If I can't, I simply turn those around me into an audience, and I think it's pretty clear that I am not in charge of the universe these days.
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