98% of alcoholic/addicts are "control freaks" determined not to ever let anyone else tell them what to do.

 The more resistant you are to asking for -- and receiving -- help for your addiction, the more difficulty you're apt to have with the "higher power". So a great deal of the problem is you lack the willingness to surrender to something larger than yourself. For many nonreligious people, what you discover is a deep, profound sense of a quiet inner voice that is stronger, softer, wiser, more accepting, and more loving than your usual ego or fearful self or need to control everything. This may not seem like a big white dude with a beard; it's more like something within yourself you've lost touch with, a sort of inner knowing. It takes time to get in touch with this inner sense, in large part because unresolved emotions tend to cover it up. (Let's face it, when you start in recovery, you're loaded with unresolved feelings.) And when you become fearful and try to control, you lose touch as well. But dealing with these issues is a lot of what early recovery is all about.

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